Living in Almost, but Not Quite

© 2012 by Heather Palmer

 

Almost, but Not Quite is a place where every writer will find themselves at one point or another in their career. Right now, I am SO queen of this land. It’s not a fun place to be, but for now it’s where I need to be.

As writers, we have a craft to learn. There are so many facets of this craft and learning them takes time. Most days I find myself impatient, hungry, and chomping madly at the air around me trying to force something to happen in my writing career. I’ve discovered this does nothing other than make me more frustrated and discouraged with my current state.

Now, I’m not some self-pitying, wallowing kind of person. I’ve been writing since I can remember, penning my first stories with one of those fat pencils children use to learn to write with. Writing is in my blood. The essence of stories slides through my veins with every beat of my heart.

This week I didn’t final in yet another contest, but what I have learned is far more powerful than a certificate I can hang on the wall of my office. I got feedback.

And…with feedback comes rejection.

Rejection is part of being a writer and regardless of how long you’ve been honing your craft and plying your words we all must find ways to deal with rejection. For me, I give myself a short amount of time to wallow, to scream, to cry and wail at the world in general and then…I suck it up. Having tough skin in the writing world is a MUST.

Being a writer, you know everyone is not going to drop to their knees and kiss the pages of whatever awesome story you’ve churned out in a raging fit of inspiration. Writing takes work–A LOT of work. Part of our jobs is to ensure our work is ready. And for me, I know because of this recent feedback, it’s not quite ready.

Almost.

But not quite.

So, what do you do? I ask myself often…how bad do I want this? How bad can I taste a publishing contract on my tongue? Many of you will have the same answer: so bad you can feel the sharp, thin edge of the paper slicing into your flesh and drawing blood. This blood is rich with every ounce of effort you have expended into creating the best work you can offer.

But again, you could still reside in Almost.

Follow your ritual. Work through whatever you need to pick yourself up and get back into your chair and at your keyboard. Drink your wine and eat your chocolate. Hide in bed for a day. Pick up your favorite author’s book and read it again for the millionth time to solidify WHY you do what you do. Then…get back to work.

Fix what you know needs fixed. Revise like the hounds of hell are nipping at your tired feet. Now for me, I hate revision. I would rather have every hair plucked out of my scalp one strand at a time than sit down and pour through the same manuscript I have written four times.

Four times.

Today, I start round five.

You are not alone in this. Writing is a journey and we must embrace that part of us which makes us whole–the part of us that calls to our souls every waking and sleeping moment of our lives. The part we cannot and will not abandon. No matter how many times we have to polish and cleanse.

When we accomplish this…we WILL move beyond Not Quite into the land of I Have Finally Made It.

Oh, but here’s the painful part…then we start all over again.

Love what you do. Live for it, eat it, breathe it and sleep it.

And one day you will make it out into the world of being published and so will I.

 

Until the next bite…Heather

Just One Bite

One bite…

That’s all it takes to change your life forever.

Hmm…that sounds like some kind of cheesy infomercial line you’d hear on television in the early morning hours. But we’re not talking about miracle makeup or a magic pill to help you lose weight. No, tonight, we’re talking about how one bite opens a doorway into a world where darkness rules and every whim is possible.

Mind you I said darkness, not evil.

In this realm, vampires rule the night. They walk among the living, another species mankind was never meant to contend with. But the battle is not what calls to us…it’s the bite.

The unspoken promise of forever is what draws us in. The lure of something different…

Fresh.

Exhilarating.

A life bordering on the edge of darkness where there is no fear, consequences or rules.

How far into the darkness are you willing to go…for a bite?

Vampires are capable of challenging death, staring the Reaper in the face and saying, “bring it on”. Imagine, for a moment, the possibility of an endless stretch of nights before you. What could you accomplish? What could you learn?

Most important, how would you live? You could choose good…or maybe…not.

The entire world placed before your feet, for only the paltry price of a little, tiny bite.

Would you answer yes on a breath of pleasure?

I would.

Oh, but vampires offer so much more than immortality. They offer a life on the fringes, somewhere between darkness and light. A constant push/pull between what makes them human and the predators they are. The kiss of darkness on their soul beckons to an elemental aspect of our humanity. For we fear death and they own it.

Command it.

Wield it like a shield before them, cutting down any who cross their path. Wicked, gleaming fangs bore to those who dare challenge their power.

A being so in command they instill submission in their prey with the slightest press of sharp teeth against warm flesh. Own a gaze intense enough to heat you from the inside out from a mere glance in your direction. Entice you to cross the threshold of day into eternal night because, deep down, you know it’s where you belong.

All you have to do is tilt your head.

Are you with me?